After writing that last post (whenever it was that I wrote it) I went to my psych appointment and talked to Jill about it. It was one of the hardest sessions I've had - though I seem to always find myself saying that, I wonder if that's a sign that we're getting there - because we had to go quite in depth as to why I have these thoughts. It was actually really interesting to see how things that I experienced in my childhood that seemed perfectly innocuous - or if not completely innocuous, the sort of stuff that happens in your childhood and you learn from it.
So that was good, and since then I've not had too many - or indeed any that come to mind. I have however felt really out of it. The best way I can think of to describe it is that I'm feeling very meta about life - if that makes sense! I feel a bit removed from it. Boyfriend came over yesterday, and whilst I'd thought that would snap me out of it, it didn't straight away and this really threw me. This morning though and for most of today I've felt much better. I've even got loads of stuff done, including amongst other things being angry (hoorah, I managed it) at the government for potentially ruining my income for the next ever.
However a nice vent on the phone with my dad soon helped that along, and since then I've been a buzz of productivity. Unfortunately all I've got left is the kitchen, and for some reason I really hate washing up. There is so much to do as well, since I've been without hot water for so long.
Perhaps it's time to bite the bullet and just do some. It's only the washing up! It's not that scary!
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