Part of my at-home therapy (things I am doing for myself) includes thinking of a list of things I would like to do for myself/to improve my life. These have been delayed for a long time because I've been homeless, and they've thus not been viable. However it now looks like I'm getting close to actually having somewhere to live, somewhere of my own, so it feels like there's more of a point to things. I was just going to make a list of things, but then figured that if I listed them here people might have suggestions of how to do particular things or other helpful/encouraging comments. So here's a list. I may add to it later.
1. Exercise
It's an obvious one but for some years now, since going on my SSRIs, I've been considerably overweight. I'm 5'4 and weigh a little over 14 stone. This puts my BMI at a rather worryingly high amount. I know that a lot of my mass is muscle; I've retained a lot of the muscles, especially in my legs, that I built up whilst dancing when I was younger. So I'm not too worried about getting right the way down to a normal BMI, because I know I'll always be a bit more. Nor am I obsessive about it. Don't get me wrong - I do think I'm fat and ugly, but I'm not obsessed by it even when it's really, really getting me down. What I hate is the fact that I'm 22 and have a beer belly. Seriously. It's quite horribly bad.
However the main reason for wanting to exercise is because all the women in my family have serious back problems. I've got this too, and lately (the past few years) it's gotten worse and worse. Basically, the core muscles in my back (your lower back, along the spine) don't work properly because the concave of my back is very slightly exaggerated. It all gets confused in the compensating, I think. So swimming is something I want to do because it is supposed to be really good for my back. I am also generally unfit and this will help it. Because I spend my weekends fighting, I plan to try and go swimming three days a week when I can. Of course this means finding a time when the pool is quiet enough that I won't flee in terror. And finding a swimming costume big enough. But on the upside, their disabled membership rates are really good.
2. Eat Better
Kind of related to the first one, I guess. I don't eat badly at the moment. What I am bad at is not making sure that I don't get a balanced diet; this is partly because I live in a house full of meat eaters, so there are not, say, pulses regularly cooked. I usually end up with vegetables + carbs in some form. Now for a start - this is damn boring. Veggie food is awesome, and does not purely consist of vegetables and pasta. Not eating enough pulses and varied vegetables means my vitamin/mineral intake is lacking.
Further to this, making myself eat is one of the things I am worst at with my depression. I think giving myself cooking as a creative outlet would help me with that, because I do enjoy cooking and (like the rest of my family) am pretty good at it. I would like to be better though, if only because my brother's a professional cook and he shows me up a lot! Plus cooking "properly" would encourage me to eat fewer pre-prepared meals and so on. It's a hell of a lot cheaper too.
But this of course is something that I can't do until I'm in my own flat. Though, I suppose I could start planning? I am not sure if this would make my frustration/impatience at not having my flat worse or better.
[Okay I just lost my impulse to write so I'll leave this entry here for now and come back to it when I'm feeling better.]
No comments:
Post a Comment